Lots of assumptions and misconstruments

Recently I have encountered some weirdness that only exists as a result of the internet communication.

I ran into this some years ago, in the same context, a death, but different format, email.

A friend of mine's son was killed in an accident. In her despondency and grief she continued to stay "in contact" with him by emailing him. Maybe she still does this, years later, but I don't know. I thought it strange yet I could perfectly understand the solace this routine provided for her.

Currently, I am witnessing another "internet and death" experience.

A cousin died on Monday.

Firstly, I found out this fact on Facebook.  May seem a bit callous in method but this cousin lived in another country, a relative I hardly knew. So it is not so strange as first appears. There is a family group page that has allowed many of us first contact with each other. It has really been quite amazing and a very positive experience getting to know each other over the internet.

I tried to verify the passing of this cousin but language barriers have made that that not so easy. Google translation is my main tool and askews verbiage and grammar in some peculiar ways. So it is not a definitive method but gives the geist of the conversation. "Lost in translation" becomes very relevant.

Again I relied on FB . A family group page listed a few condolences (via google translation). But then a very peculiar thing occurred. My cousin who died on Monday and "friended" me on Wednesday. I was very struck by this.  Copious amounts of pictures are being posted on her page of her life. I concluded husband or children were active on her page. This is all understandable, performing much like my friend with her dead son, performing a ritual to give relief to their grieving.

Then comes more weirdness...a week or so later, it appears that old friends, who have been recently friended as I was (I assume), are sending messages. They are glad to be in touch again, asking about where she is now living, trying to set up lunch dates, etc. They have no idea that she has passed. All those postings related to her death are pretty far down the scroll since it was a week ago. The new FB format inhibits keeping up with friends' status in my opinion.

But then my brother made a comment on her page, about all the many pictures she was posting and how he was reminiscing. I could tell he had no inking that she had died so I messaged him. He indeed did not know, verifying to me the fact that her friends could be in the same situation.

This is one of those strange fall-outs precipitated by internet and social networking...lots of assumptions and misconstruments.